It's that time of year again ... the end of summer, the start of fall. And that means it's also time for Oktoberfest! Now, Oktoberfest never used to mean that much to me. I don't drink, so a celebration of beer didn't hold much allure. But when my friend Miss M, who is formerly a professional Dominatrix, decided she wanted to attend an Oktoberfest celebration with me a few years ago, this time of year took on a whole new level of importance for me.
First, Miss M sent me to the huge German beer hall here in my hometown, the Hofbrauhaus, where I needed to get a couple of pictures in my very humiliating German barmaid ... or Beer Bitch ... costume. Then I had to have the picture put on a custom beer stein for Miss M.
A few weeks later, Miss M had me dress up again in my Beer Bitch outfit to take she and a friend to Hofbrauhaus on their most popular night of the year ... a night when hundreds upon hundreds of people visit the beer hall to celebrate Oktoberfest. And she spent the night making sure as many people as possible saw me in the most playfully humiliating ways.
She made me go to the bar repeatedly to buy their drinks, making me take the long way around the place and through the entire crowd again and again.
She made me request a song from the live polka band and dance to it in front of everyone.
She made me ask pretty much every pretty woman in the place to take a picture with me because she knew I'd squirm and be embarrassed.
And if they asked why I was dressed the way that I was, Miss M made me explain to them that I was her beer bitch. And oh how they laughed at that.
When the moment came that I was most worried about ... when we actually ran into somebody who knows me in my everyday life ... I panicked hard. And Miss M just laughed and laughed at me while she took pictures of me with my old high school classmate and her girlfriends.
Later, as the evening wore on ... as the beer flowed freely ... as Miss M and her friend became more and more inclined to amuse themselves with my humiliation ... Miss M led me outside. And she handcuffed me to a light post right outside the restaurant, telling me that if I want out I'd have to convince a passerby to go inside, find her among the hundreds of customers, and ask for the key.
For the next hour or so, people came by and laughed. They asked questions. They took pictures of and with me. They listened to my story and acted like they were going to go hunting for the key ... and then they'd laugh and tell me to enjoy my night locked to the pole.
It took forever before one kind soul finally agreed to hunt Miss M down ... only after I agreed to buy a round for her party upon my release!
It was such a fun night.
And a year later, we did it all again!
It's been a few years since we last attended Oktoberfest. The scheduling just hasn't worked out, and then there was COVID.
This year, it doesn't look like we'll be able to do the Hofbrauhaus, but I AM planning to wear my Oktoberfest Beer Bitch costume to the Harrisburg Comic-Con the weekend of September 18-19. It'll be my frist time wearing the outfit anywhere other than an actual Oktoberfest celebration, and I think people will have fun with it. If you're going to be at the con, please be sure to say hello! And if you'd like to go to the con WITH ME, please send me a note, and let's make some plans!